the one you want

i drove back from santa cruz this morning and i didn't really think about anything. i sang some songs. i guess i thought about stopping to get coffee. i stopped to get gas, but didn't trust the coffee at the gas station. it didn't stand a chance next to the double espresso forest made me this morning or anything that comes from bernie's, philz sugarlump, four barrel, commie coffee, or for that matter, the fake soy lattes i make some mornings for me and molly. i had two cups at bernie's this afternoon, which is not a lot for me i suppose. i could have one right now. i am drinking too much, but i really don't care. if i did, i would stop. or cut back and drink water. the first morning i woke up at matthew's, i was a complete mess until i had coffee. i couldn't even lock my bike up. i used to set our coffee pot the night before so aliza and i could wake up to the smell of brewed goodness. i would put double the amount into the machine at work so it was strong and black, and while i was waiting, would drink whatever francisco had made before i got there. then more downstairs, while checking emails and laughing with maria. every once in awhile, i treat myself to a white mocha at starbucks because it is one of the most delicious things in the world. huge statement, i know. on tuesdays around 3pm, i go to piccino and order a blue bottle latte and flirt with the cute barista with clear glasses. i used to flirt with brian, but he only works in the morning and i found out he has a girlfriend. i told drew i was happy he lived so close to philz so that i could walk there in the morning, but i guess that doesn't matter anymore. what matters is that the ether coffee at philz is my new favorite. i guess this is why i'm supposed to live in seattle.