invisible truths

my eyes are open. my heart is open. and i am ready to kick some ass.

the march goes on.

there is a way i feel about bacon and saturday mornings and scrabble and cigarettes that is unlike anything else in the world. and sure, they are random, but right now, they are indescribably amazing. possibly because i just had some bacon and that it is saturday morning and that i am glancing at my scrabble board sitting on my cocktail tray or that last night i had inexplicably more cigarettes than i should have, but cherished each one until i dragged my butt home to see my extremely happy and tired puppy. now he is under the couch after a morning of playtime and i am wondering what comes next. cleaning. napping. organizing. birthdaying. whatever comes after that. it all shall come and go and really, i could just sit in this chair all day, curled up and listening to my dog snore. that is possibly the next step, although i have watched everything good on hulu already.

also, this.

always.

let's watch phenomenas arise out of the darkness

i am yearning for wide open spaces, so i can take pictures of the sky and the desert. i am yearning for the desert in a way that people yearn for an oasis in the desert and i absolutely must get there soon. i want the cold and the hot. the cool night breezes and the thunderous daily sunshine. i want cacti and lizards and all sorts of desert-y things. mostly, i want the sky above me and nothing else in sight, except maybe my dog running after a lizard. i also yearn for the city. for the beeping of cabs and the endless possibilities and the friends that are scattered across different metropolises. the round the corner bar and the smell of stale hot dogs and the absolute feeling of being one in a million.

texas is a strange place and austin is a mecca to many who grew up in small towns here wanting to get to the big city. by big city, i mean a few blocks downtown with some tiny tall buildings and a transit system that should be bulldozed out of sight. my neighbor went to new york city once. he said he felt like he was in a movie. it was pretty darn cute, i'll tell you that. and maybe because austin is stuck somewhere between huge college town and small city that i can appreciate it and what i can do here. but it is also an in between place. neither open land nor anciently large city, it situates itself as weird and green and big and small. i like it here. i like the possibilities and the neighbors and the little cul de sacs in my neighborhood. i love my job and my family here. i am excited though, for the desert in november and the city in december. because my roots and my future and everything in between is everywhere all at once and right now its here. and i am glad for the strangeness.

let us think of these things always. let us speak of them never.