possibility and probability

it has been absolutely too long since i've written in this blog. i also barely read my emails that come through on gmail and i am pretty horrible at returning phone calls. avoidance. i don't really know why though. maybe now that i am 30 and am supposed to be a bit more grown up, i am reverting back to not wanting responsibility. not worrying about the future and the fiscal implications of marriage. not taking a stand against things i know to be bullshit and also just not talking about how i am feeling with my parents, friends, siblings, etc. i am using this post, as i have used many others in the past, as an arrow. an arrow that shoots right into the middle of a long list of tasks that i have been avoiding. that is about all i have to say about this topic right now. except for that i will resume posting here on a regular basis.