high and square

All artists are alike. They dream of doing something that's more social, more collaborative, and more real than art. —Dan Graham

i've been thinking about being more lately. should i be more than myself? shouldn't i be doing more all the time, instead of watching tv on the internet in my bed and taking mini vacations? of course, most people will tell me i work so hard, i work all the time, but that is definitely not true. haven't done one thing yet today besides get ready to work. i might start drowning very soon. i read an essay last night, of a good length and interesting content, and i just kept thinking, why cannot i not write like this? it was fluid and i didn't have to continue to go back and re-read sentences.

[side note: there are way more boys working at philz today.]

but back to the notion of easy reading, of fluidity, of doing more. i might be having a crisis soon. but i think it will be a good crisis, which focuses me and makes me feel like i am doing just slightly more than i should be, which is how it should be. so, i suppose just writing this helped a little. and so did the bike ride down to philz. and the ether coffee sitting next to me. and bill callahan singing to me.

and i think its good that i left the city the other night and ate food and watched movies and slept well. [major plaid alert in philz] getting yourself away is indeed refreshing, although it also makes you want to stay away. i am writing in circles, thinking in circles, going in circles. oh well, the gateway is open. and i'm here now.