keep on keepin' on

striped patterns on top of flowered patterns.
reading the sunday times on mondays.
old school composition notebooks.
late lunches and afternoon sunshine.
bob dylan before bed. and before breakfast.

you killed me first

these days are bones

you can take a look around, but i'm not sure what you'll see.

you can take a look at me, but you might want to turn away.
or you might want to look forever.

when you look around, you just see remnants of life, living, hollowness, wine bottles.

when you look at me, you see remnants of sleep, hair sticking up, glasses, slippers, tiredness.

but when you really look at me, into my eyes, you see flashes of green grass, sun-kissed skin, laughter, secrets. when you really look at me, you can smell jasmine and olive oil, you see baskets of fish and chips, you can imagine nothing better than swimming in clear water and lying in hammocks. you love deeply. you might never turn away, because turning away would bring you back to the hollows and the wine bottles. but if you don't turn away, you'll just hear voices and smell smells and attempt to float away, but you can't. there is a whole world you want to be a part of, which i am. but you look away because your gaze cannot hold mine. you move onward and i sit back down.

a violent hunger

i am thinking about wearing bright sundresses and espadrilles.

i am wanting to sunbathe topless while wearing a large white brimmed hat, something out of this side of paradise.

i feel like singing loudly at night while perched on the back of a vespa.

i wonder how the sunlight pours into rooms halfway across the world. i can no longer see it in my head. the memories have evaporated, or settled deep inside me where i cannot find them.

i am desperate to pick plums and oranges and apples and sit on a hillside and eat them in the sunshine. a sunshine different from what i have now.

soon. soon i hope.

a momentary pause

gigi gatewood. from her knowing and believing series.

inside out

When someone is with you you miss them more than when they are gone.
molly prentiss

ride me high

from my new favorite blog

limb by limb

i have this memory of a hot summer night in july. i picked you up at the train and was shaking. i made sure to put on a short skirt and tank top because my legs and arms were tan, thanks to the indianna dunes. you mentioned that i was tan. the comment made me smile, thinking that you liked the way i looked or maybe just because you were looking at me. in any case, it was fine, because you were near me. i just wanted you near me. we walked for a few blocks, smoking cigarettes and sweating. talking about chicago and the summer and i tried to keep my distance. we had spoken of being friends, of just being friends, and i wanted to respect that. i just wanted you near me though and with that in mind, we were walking right into a trap. maybe i set that trap for you, knowing you would want to come to my house, knowing that i was more appealing than a couch with another friend, knowing that you thought about me when you were by yourself. but you set the trap as well, with the way you looked at me in the bar, looked at me and no one else, or by leaving your things at my house before going out or by just being you and knowing me. and at that point, it did not matter. because then we turned the corner and i laughed about something and you grabbed my hand and pulled me towards you.

never from this heart

WE WHO STAYED BEHIND trailer from martin de thurah on Vimeo.

interrupting a beam of light

another from keri smith

doppleganger(s)

noah kalina

adam ekberg

noah kalina

adam ekberg

carmen showed me noah's photographs and i immediately remembered these two by adam. very interesting. and i am procrastinating from doing all of my work.

every time you think of me, we die, a little

clap your hands say yeah, in & out, sailor jerry, rooftop pools, footsies, old style signs in LA, sub-zero sleeping bags, medicinal weed, coffee and bagels, techno, eames everything, LACMA, je vous attends, venice, canals in venice, bitburger beers, sunsets, more rooftops, purple trees, orange groves, guinea pigs make better meals than pets, pete & pietro, pet ravens, tea rooms, hand holding, tar pits, wilshire boulevard, blue jesus, breakfast quesadillas, baywatch, mid-century everything, cigarettes, chilli cheese dogs, more techno casey gray style.

summer begins.