i have this memory of a hot summer night in july. i picked you up at the train and was shaking. i made sure to put on a short skirt and tank top because my legs and arms were tan, thanks to the indianna dunes. you mentioned that i was tan. the comment made me smile, thinking that you liked the way i looked or maybe just because you were looking at me. in any case, it was fine, because you were near me. i just wanted you near me. we walked for a few blocks, smoking cigarettes and sweating. talking about chicago and the summer and i tried to keep my distance. we had spoken of being friends, of just being friends, and i wanted to respect that. i just wanted you near me though and with that in mind, we were walking right into a trap. maybe i set that trap for you, knowing you would want to come to my house, knowing that i was more appealing than a couch with another friend, knowing that you thought about me when you were by yourself. but you set the trap as well, with the way you looked at me in the bar, looked at me and no one else, or by leaving your things at my house before going out or by just being you and knowing me. and at that point, it did not matter. because then we turned the corner and i laughed about something and you grabbed my hand and pulled me towards you.
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