for tonight, for ever

it sort of seems perfect that i came home to this. well, this and an episode of californication. i am going to bed for the second time in 3 days at eleven pm. its just that my stomach is making noises and my heart is swaying every which way. i am homesick for something i cannot name. thank god for andrew bird and his whistling. and thanks nyla

an arrangement of rememberances

note to self

an e-flux email totally depressed me today. the aldrich is putting on the bicycle show that i have wanted to do for forever. i am too busy for myself right now.

call me home

one of my favorite places on earth, molly's home.

the nearby past

crazy moon on my widgets the other day.
still from greg stimac's new video.
you are not lost you are here.

after the curtain

after miles of bike riding, after sleeping in, after more miles and a ferry ride, after petting dogs and beers in the afternoon, after realizing sweat is something great and quiche is something greater, i am sitting here with iced coffee and chantel mouffe and wondering about finishing quickly and wanting maybe get on my bike again and enjoy the slight buzz and the tired feeling in my quads and realize that life is this, right now, present day with a 2 hour window into the future.

feather by feather

my first curated show in san francisco. be there if you're here.

a child of linger on

this is what i am talking about. amazing. i heart you francisco infante-arana. and thank you drew

simple times

come and take me

some days, you just need al green and a tecate.

you were hotter to me than the sun

the pain in my back came back yesterday. i noticed it, sitting on a bench in the half-sun at zeitgeist. i noticed it more as i trudged up a hill, heading towards my house. i took a pill which did nothing and i slept uncomfortably, wishing for a heat pad, wishing for no pain at all. it remains still as i type this and stretching has not helped. nor the hot shower. i am not going to wear a bra today as i cannot be bothered to put one on. i cannot be bothered to do much right now except get a coffee which i am fairly motivated to do. coffee might not alleviate my pain but it might shoot me back into the world. right now, things are soft and unfocused and sad. my sadness has lasted a few days and once the sadness starts in, i am forever kicking myself to get out of it but instead watching tv on the internet. i hate the sadness and the pain. it reminds me of other times that i've long tried to forget. alas, i will get that coffee and start my day and look forward to becoming in focus.

sea of love

in darkness love brings us together

i'm having a hard time trying to write anything for this blog lately. i keep writing and erasing, writing and erasing. command a + delete actually. i guess it will come back sooner or later.