in and out

it has been raining here all week. i welcome it and also hate it at the same time. it makes me nervous to drive, after the flash flooding on tuesday. it makes me realize that i always forget my umbrella. it makes me stay inside even more than if it were sunny and i could at least drag myself to the pool to swim laps and interact with the world beyond work.

i am going to attempt that interaction tonight, and go out with kevin parks hauser, possibly. i say possibly because i may be very tempted to stay in like i have been doing and watch season 2 of friday night lights and look for apartments online and talk to nick on the phone. i would get to drive my new car, which is a reason to go out. so are p.terry's fries late at night after drinking a few beers. i suppose going out would be the honorable thing to do. and then yoga in the morning tomorrow.

i like the slight reinvention i am putting myself through in terms of exercising. i absolutely love and hate bikram, which possibly is why i have been doing it so much. that, and i am alone in a new city that is welcoming but also not yet homey to me so i stay on the periphery. i do that during yoga too, where i park my mat in the back corners and try not to be noticed. so far i think it is working. and maybe it just takes time and i think that is ok. because spotlights are not always necessary and alone time is regarded highly by me right now, and i probably will continue these thoughts until i am in my own house filled with my own things and the boy i love and the dog we'll share.