i follow ghosts

when you turn 29, do you come to your senses? i have to hope, because i've been feeling rickety lately. like i've been living in my head too much, thinking too much of things that don't really exist. perhaps i just need a slap in the face. matthew would agree with that i am sure.

i don't really know if today is better than yesterday or if yesterday when i cried in my car was better than today. at least i felt something hard. my chest exploding. other feelings lately have just been of frustration and tiredness and loneliness. and that seems so easy. easy to feel and easy to remedy. i try hard to work for this faceless future, but really i am just moving forward without trying. without learning. so, this is a reevaluation post. a present post. an hour at a time post. and perhaps those ghosts i've been following will start to follow me.