public movement

my sister in law is pregnant with her first child.

my junior year roommate is pregnant with her first child.

my boyfriend's sister is pregnant with her second child.

my half cousin is pregnant with her first child.

my grad school roommate's sister is pregnant with her first child.

all of this points me in the direction of childhood and motherhood and knowing that i want that someday. of power couples and loving couples and houses with wood floors and jars of lentils. i still am longing for white beds, white walls, white bookcases, and white bathrooms. i am still longing for everything. i do not regret the present, i consider the past, but i long for the future. perhaps more than i have before.