Wednesday, September 22, 2010

let's watch phenomenas arise out of the darkness

i am yearning for wide open spaces, so i can take pictures of the sky and the desert. i am yearning for the desert in a way that people yearn for an oasis in the desert and i absolutely must get there soon. i want the cold and the hot. the cool night breezes and the thunderous daily sunshine. i want cacti and lizards and all sorts of desert-y things. mostly, i want the sky above me and nothing else in sight, except maybe my dog running after a lizard. i also yearn for the city. for the beeping of cabs and the endless possibilities and the friends that are scattered across different metropolises. the round the corner bar and the smell of stale hot dogs and the absolute feeling of being one in a million.

texas is a strange place and austin is a mecca to many who grew up in small towns here wanting to get to the big city. by big city, i mean a few blocks downtown with some tiny tall buildings and a transit system that should be bulldozed out of sight. my neighbor went to new york city once. he said he felt like he was in a movie. it was pretty darn cute, i'll tell you that. and maybe because austin is stuck somewhere between huge college town and small city that i can appreciate it and what i can do here. but it is also an in between place. neither open land nor anciently large city, it situates itself as weird and green and big and small. i like it here. i like the possibilities and the neighbors and the little cul de sacs in my neighborhood. i love my job and my family here. i am excited though, for the desert in november and the city in december. because my roots and my future and everything in between is everywhere all at once and right now its here. and i am glad for the strangeness.

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